I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
