just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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