dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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