well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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