break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
