is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
