im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
