Tell her she can't have a vagina
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
