it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she pinky promised me she was 18
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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