I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
