I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
