It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize