Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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