I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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