Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
