just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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