New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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