honey bunches of taint.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it glows. i had to have it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
