his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
