Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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