I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize