I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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