Dual....:-)
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
