none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
