she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
