i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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