with your own penis?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
