I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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