Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
