Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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