It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
