Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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