Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
