I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
