also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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