he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
