I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
