**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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