I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
