Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
