I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize