he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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