so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
