it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
