so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
