i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
