Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
