im having a threesome with these popsicles
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
