I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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