Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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