Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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