He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
