i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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