You smell like a Billy Joel song
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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