I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
