Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize