I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
