I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
