I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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