you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
