So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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